Life in the Express Lane

So I got home from work today. Spent an hour in the apartment office and then realized that I didn’t have spaghetti noodles for dinner tonight (rather essential for making spaghetti) So, I grabbed my purse and drove quickly to Safeway to pick up noodles for dinner.
Since I only needed a few things I didn’t bother to grab a cart, on my way through the produce section I grab a cantaloupe melon and a loaf of garlic bread to round out dinner, except that the cantaloupe is buy one get one free. Well, I don’t really need another cantaloupe but the last time I tried to get away with out my “free” produce item, they held up the whole line for five minutes while they found someone to run and get me a second container of moldy strawberries, much to the chagrin of the other customers behind me in line. And I certainly didn’t want to put us all through that again, so I just took the extra cantaloupe!
Now please keep in mind that I am eight months pregnant and I’m at the point where it’s uncomfortable to walk around, let alone carrying two cantaloupes, spaghetti noodles, and garlic bread. So, I head to the nearest express lane and gratefully drop my groceries onto the belt. That’s when I realize, that the lady in front of me has about two week’s worth of groceries in her cart!! (fifteen items or less……but who am I to judge) But it’s really not worth picking up all my groceries and getting into another line so I decide to wait it out – besides it would be rude of me to haul all of my stuff away, especially since I’m pretty sure I can’t do it without letting out a semi-exasperated sigh. So, I stay in the line and patiently wait for the checker to finish with the lady ahead of me.
Once he finishes scanning the items, he begins to bag them all (all the baggers work the non-express isles). Then she requests that he tie the plastic bags up (so they’re easier to carry), which he does. Then she can’t find her discount card, so he asks for her phone number to punch into the computer. Okay, now she needs to pay. So she rummages around in her purse for a while and pulls out her check book (good, she found it now we will get going!). She writes her check out while the checker finishes putting all the grocery bags in her cart. Then he asks for the check. She insists that she already gave it to him. He looks a little confused and starts looking around the check out area for the check. He doesn’t think she gave it to him. She insists that she did, they go back and forth for a while and then decide to untie all the grocery bags to look for the check!!! After searching through the bags she finally finds the check……..IN HER CHECKBOOK! Okay, NOW we can get going!!! But wait for it…. She needs her ID in order to pay with a check. Does she have an ID….no, of course not she shops here all the time WHY would she need an ID??? So off we go to find the manager, who thankfully, recognizes said customer and decides to authorize her check without the ID. Great!! Now, the little computer thingy needs her phone number. She insists that it is on the check. Only it’s not, so we go back and forth again about the phone number (one would assume that she knew her phone number, since she gave it to the checker earlier to get her discount….but I digress) The checker finally decides just to write “no phone” on the check. Now we finally have paid for the groceries!!! Woo Hoo! We can go now right??? Well, at our Safeway they always ask if you would like help out to your car, and you guessed it, as a matter of fact, she would like help out to her car! So now we have to find and extra courtesy clerk to help her out....

Just thought I would mention again what lane it was…… THE EXPRESS LANE.