Ummmm

So, I'm putting Jacob to bed tonight, and I lay down beside him to snuggle for a moment. He spends a few minute stroking my face, then turns to me and says:
"Mom"
"yeah"
"I could really use some hand sanitizer"

ummmmm.........okay, I'm done snuggling now.

When Your Heart No Longer Beats in Your Body

One of the most surprising things about being pregnant for the first time (besides the fact that I was pregnant), was that phase after I was done being morning sick and started getting sick of being big. For the first time in my life I felt physically vulnerable. Not that I was a star athlete before I was pregnant, but the realization hit me that if someone wanted to mug me, all they would have to do is walk up to me, tap me on the head and I would tip over and roll around for five minutes before I could get up and stand again. Running away was definitely not a viable option at this point. It was an unsettling emotion.

Fast forward to the delivery room when they place my beautiful baby girl in my arms; all of a sudden I knew deep down that this feeling of vulnerability would never truly go away. It came over me all at once, that my heart no longer beat in my own body; it was beating in hers. A whole new vista opened up to me. Whatever happens to her, happens to me and there are a million new ways for my heart to be broken. What if someone is ever mean to her? What if she encounters a bully? What if a boy breaks her heart, or the college of her dreams fails to see her genius? Then there are the really scary things, like what if she grows up and wants to drive a car…..on the streets….with other drivers present.

And then, children two, three and four were born, and instead of the portions of my heart being divided equally between them, I just grew more hearts. And those hearts weren’t really mine either, because of course they beat in their bodies. Which is why when I am confronted with angry, defiant, belligerent children who are completely sure that I am making ridiculous rules for the sheer pleasure of torturing them, I often look them straight in the eyes and say “because my heart beats in your body.” And I endure the eye rolling and the sighing and even the arguing. I know that it just sounds crazy. I also know that someday, they will hold a very small person in their own arms. They will spend a quiet moment. And it will hit them like a ton of bricks and they will know exactly what I meant all those years before. And I will just sit back and smile, because the most humbling aspect of my own realization was remembering that I am someone else’s child.

The Moments That Give Me Hope

Me: It's time for bed, do you want to say the prayer or do you want me to?
Jacob: I want Jay-Jay to.
Me: I don't think he's big enough yet.
Jacob: Yes, he is, I'll show you
Jay, say "Heavnely Father"
Jay: "eavenly ather"
Jacob: "Thank you for this day"
Jay: "anks for a day"
Jacob: "Bless for blessings"
Jay: "essings".....AMEN!!

And that is what big brothers are for!

Home for Lunch

"Well Hi Jay-Jay how come you're naked?"
"Oh, we gave him a bath"
"Really?"
"Yeah, we had to, he was covered with shampoo"
"Why was he covered with shampoo?"
"Cause he dumped it out on himself.....and all over the carpet."

"The Hot Dog Rules"

Keep in mind I wrote these when I only had the two little girls :)

Tonight dinner consisted of: a hot dog, a bun, and ketchup. Here are the rules that resulted from just one meal:

1. No touching your sister during dinner (Anarosa)
Sub-rules: (this not being clear enough)
a. No poking your sister during dinner (Anarosa)
b. No biting your sister during dinner (Alana)
c. No pulling your sister's hair during dinner (Alana)
d. No grabbing your sister during dinner (Aanarosa)
2. No playing under the table at dinner (Anarosa)
3. No dipping your hair in ketchup (Anarosa)
4. No dipping your sister's hair in ketchup (Alana)
5. You must keep your food on the table during dinner (Anarosa)
6. If you want more ketchup you must ask for it, you may NOT take it off of your sister's hot dog and wipe it on your own. (Alana)
7. No throwing food, ever. (both)
8. Singing and dancing and growling are allowed at dinner if you stay in your seat (both)
9. There is absolutely no screaming or shrieking at dinner (Alana)
10. NO taking food off of your sister's plate (both)
11. No grabbing your sister's food and smashing it in half (Anarosa)
12. If your mouth is too full you may take the extra food out and put it on your plate (both) but you MAY NOT take spit-out food off of your sister's plate and eat it! (both) See rule 10.
13. If you want a drink from Mommy's cup, you must first chew and swallow the food that is in your mouth (both)
14. You may not fish the ice-cubes out of Mommy's cup with your hands because you don't like water with ice in it (Anarosa)
15. No sitting on the table during dinner (Alana)
16. No feet on the table during dinner (Alana)
17. When Mom starts counting to five, you had better JUST FINISH YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!

I found the smell!!

Yes, that's right, for the past week and a half there has been an obnoxious smell coming from our walk in closet. Both Mark and I have been constantly trying to figure out where it was coming from. We were finally getting convinced that some critter had died in the walls and we were going to have to pay someone to knock holes in our walls to find it, until today....when I moved the dresser to find a very large cup of chocolate milk!!! (complete with spoon to stir it with) hidden away behind it.......Yep......chocolate milk.

I thought about taking a picture, but I just had to hold my nose grab the cup barely by the edge and walk verrrrry quickly to the outside garbage can.

Anarosa's comment: "Huh, I could have sworn I took that out...."

Our New Friend

We have officially adopted a caterpillar. The girls found a caterpillar in a bunch of flowers that were in Mark's office at church. They REALLY wanted to keep him for a pet, so we sacrificed on of my canning jars to make him a little home.
I was a little worried since, we've tried to do caterpillars before, but they never survive more than a day or two. This little guy has been here for three days and seems to be doing well. He certainly can eat!!
The kids decided to call him Stripedy (pronounced stripe-ed-eee).

Caught!

We have a little spot bot carpet cleaner (which we use ALL the time!). I set it up to clean two little spots on the carpet (nobody knew how they got there...) Each cycle takes about seven minutes and everytime I walked by I had to re-start the cycle.

I finally found out who was doing it!!

Isn't he helpful, pushing buttons for me!!!!

A Slip of the Elbow

"Mom! Mom! You have to come see this"

mmmm...hmmmm......

"It was a little bit of a natural disaster, it wasn't my fault though!"

Uhhhhh whatever it is just get a towel and clean it up!

"Well.....my elbow slipped"

Okay, I'm coming.....

Monkey Tales

So I'm getting the kids ready for church and notice out of the corner of my eye, Jacob running around with Anarosa's scarf sticking out of the back of his pants........hmm..
"Jacob?"
"Yes, Mom"
"Why do you have a scarf in your pants?"
"I'm a Monkey Boy.......you said if I ate all those bananas I would turn into a monkey boy and I did!"
(I don't remember saying such a thing, but it does sound like something I would say, so we'll roll with it) I let him run around with the scarf for a few minutes thinking he'll get tired of it.
Pretty soon Anarosa comes to get her scarf back because it's time to leave for church. Jacob won't give it back.
"But I'm a monkey boy and I need my tail"
"Yes, I know, but it's really Anarosa's scarf and she wants to wear it to church"
"WHY would she want to wear a GROSS MONKEY TAIL TO CHURCH?, besides, if she pulls my tail off of me I will DIE!!"

Sooo...just how do you convince a monkey boy to give up his tail?